This woman was keeping track of the words I said
as if she was putting magic into them, cooing and awing
and whispering as she typed,
“good good…” into my sentences

And it was in that moment that I realized the clarity of my visions
and what I’d been searching to see. I am not lost.

I don’t go out enough and it clouds my sense
of anything that is the world.
Life feels out of focus
but everything keeps pointing,
I am right where I am supposed to be.
I long for a past that is forgotten memory

I feel at home here but I find myself so lonely
maybe it’s the pandemic talking, if it’s real, though,
it’s always been a habit to
lock my self away from the world.
I have to stop telling myself
I can’t

I fear I will miss the colors of fall, again.
Everything looks much more beautiful
and I feel like I am alone in space,
and then winter comes

My soul struggles for survival and
at some point, you stop hearing the traffic,
and you try to avoid the puddles gathered by the rain.
Carelessly, and not so careless that you

I travel the world alone to find gratitude.
And sometimes,
I drive fast down the highway with my windows rolled down
to feel some sort of freedom.
All the lives I could have lived.

Written 09-25-2021